Teams and results, Grimsby Team Endurance Race. A [c] denotes the team's captain.

I SPANK MOSLEY
Jon Beagles [c]
Nathan Crayton
Tom Smith
Mark Foley

TEAM JEFF GORDON
Pip Hammond [c]
Sarah Garvey
Sam Jackson
Tom Buxton

TEAM SLOWEST
Imran Khan [c]
Alfred Kupera
Matthew Spearey
Amy Charles

TEAM EGO
Nick Drewett [c]
Helen Lyon
Brandon Rogan
Jimbo Perkins

BEARD TEAM
Keith Herbert [c]
Ed Teale
Josh Overhill
Adam Hibberd

JE NE SAIS QUOI - or JE NE SOUIS QUO, if you prefer the way the marshals wrote it.
Paul Hutton [c]
Benjamin Mason-Gallagher
William Russell
Colin Smith-Bowen

TEAM DINIZ
Phil Blanchard [c]
Tom Race
Seniz Ibrahim
Roger Palmer

This race - an endurance in the great outdoors - was hotly anticipated, and then hotly contested. The qualifying session would see several team captains refrain from partaking, in order to give newcomers to the circuit more time to get themselves rubbered in. The big surprise was that Imran Khan thwarted all comers to claim pole. Only joking - that's no shock. But Josh Overhill made a name for himself, and is henceforth to be called Grid Second, for his work ahead of the race. Team orders prevailed, removing many of the qualifiers from their seats so that the so-called big guns could fire their way into the first corner. Pip Hammond did exactly that, putting the leader by turn one in his firing line. Contact ensued, but all made it around the corner more-or-less unscathed. The leader had been Keith Herbert, stealing Imran's thunder off the starting line, but Imran manipulated his kart through those first turns in such a way that he was almost invisible to the naked eye after just one lap. Pip Hammond suffered a spin but gathered himself together, resolving to charge Imran down and square up in a battle to the death.

Keith Herbert created space for himself on-track, never once noticing that Jon Beagles and Nick Drewett were struggling to keep up behind him. Team Ego's ego would surely be dented after a performance like that. But for the other teams things were about to pick up. Matthew Spearey, Tom Smith, William Russell and many more flaunted their competence through their stints, while Josh Overhill exceeded expected expectations, thrusting Beard Team into the lead of the race. Jeff Gordon and Slowest were dropping back.

There was nothing of the envisioned "je ne sais quoi" about the team of the same name, unless you're wondering why the team captain drove straight into a tyre barrier, assuming the track would stay straight, rather than make an about turn. The track getting away from Paul Hutton mightn't sound unusual - but it was a little bit different to see one other driver gifted the entire circuit for a lap, as the rest of the gang huddled together in the tunnel for a hot mug of cocoa.

In the final stint Mark Foley was the relative newcomer tasked with winning I Spank Mosley the race. Unfortunately Adam Hibberd was keeping his cool up in front, and no matter how fast Mark drove (and wow, was he fast!) the two teams would find themselves separated by a mere seven seconds - only Chewy's fuse on the bus to the track was shorter.

Mention must be made of the contribution our ladies offered. Sarah was a last-minute stand-in and was rewarded for her efforts with a place on the podium. She worried she'd kill herself on the track, but seeing her hold her trophy aloft was proof enough that she had survived the ordeal. Helen, likewise, was a valued performer for Team Ego, let down only by her team captain... and his ego.  Moving on, Seniz found herself under the jurisdiction of team captain Phil Blanchard, a returnee whose team looked all the more glamourous for having her. And last but by no means least, Amy was yet again impressive, trying as she was to help Team Slowest make the top three. Unfortunately her sense of irony was lost, as her team finished neither first nor last. That said, Team Mediocre wouldn't really have done her efforts justice.

A great many thanks are owed to all who turned up, and particularly to all those who finished in the positions second to seventh: your loss was our gain. If you happen to know that you were the fastest in your team, then you will know exactly how fast you went by looking at the few statistics on offer below.

Cheers all,
Keith.